Notes On Rage

Okay so I've reached a certain age
Where the core feelings don't change
The magical transformation won't occur
My ongoing problematic mental health
Lots and lots of rage held down

Is it just a matter of letting it out
Without literally murdering people?
Trying to forgive and move on
Peacefully in the spirit of healing
Releasing the rotten bullies finally

My analyst says trauma stays embedded
Poems help sublimate those strong feelings
But it's often such a struggle to even wake up

I don't feel like there's something wrong with me
I just feel like I'm reacting to things naturally

I do feel like a victim though, in this bullies' culture
So many of us are victims of that
Kooris are victims of that, lets be honest

I still love and have hope
Foolishly I suppose

Victimhood is powerful, if we accept it
It's the core of building justice systems
Poems are my justice system
Poems nobody read but regardless

Feelings are our only certain truths
I write this sitting in a small park
A good little park with pigeons scrapping
Listening to Slow Danse With The Dead
I need to keep things small right now